I would like to take this time to wish all the moms a Happy Mother’s Day. I also want to take this time to acknowledge those who have to experience this day remembering the loss of their mother, those who are waiting patiently to become mothers, those who have chosen not to be mothers, and sending love to those who have experienced the loss of a child. Happy Mother’s Day to you Queen! I am using today to write about the time my mother told me, “Girl, Wake up! She didn’t quite say it like that, but you’ll soon get the point.
Remember the guy I wrote about before? The one I dated in high school? Well… like I stated before I was head over heels in love with him. During high school he joined the Army. The summer going into our junior year he went to basic training in Ft. Benning, GA. When he came back there was a lot of talk regarding marriage. He kept telling me he wanted to get married. To me that sounded great! My highschool boyfriend is joining the Army he wants to get married. I love him, he loves me...lets do this! The only thing was I had to tell my mom.
If you know B.D. she can be a hard person to talk to at times, or so I thought when I was in highschool. And to top all of that off she did not care for my then boyfriend at all!. So here goes nothing. I’m making small talk with my mom one day in the living room. I don’t exactly remember how I finally brought up the topic, but I did.
Me: “Ma, Jason ( I’ve never dated a Jason so lets call him Jason) said he wants to marry me.”
B.D.: ”Oh, okay. Let me tell you something, when you get married to him you are no longer my responsibility. So, if you think he can take care of you like I do then go ahead. Girl, Wake Up!
Me: Okay. *walks away because my bubble is burst*
I had never thought of it like that. My mother helped me understand that relationships and commitments are responsibilities, and if you do not have the means, or intentions to take care of your responsibilities then don’t try it. Stay in your lane. As a woman I have grown to understand that there are certain things that I require and when a man dates me he signs up to fulfil those needs and take on some responsibilities. Sis, understand that any man who is not ready to be responsible for you is not for you. I am not just talking financially, but physically and emotionally. If he cannot be responsible for the way he handles your heart, your mind, and your body do yourself a favor, and wait for the one who will.
P.S. Shoutout to my mom she did a helluva a job. *muah*