Complete vs Complement

Hello, hello!

Happy February!! Some like to call it the "Month of Love." This post is brought to you by all of the February festivities and shenanigans that are about to take place like next week.

I’m sure that we’ve experienced a person who seeks personal validation through their relationships with others. Have you heard the saying “ What you think about me is none of my business?” Well this particular person cares way too much about what others have to say about them. This person may  suffer from  low self-esteem. This person looks for others to define them.This is the woman who cannot stand to be alone. They are always on the hunt for Mr. Right. They are searching for someone to define their  worth. This person resides in online chat rooms, Tinder, POF, or they are looking for any quick fix to meet someone. Thinking to themselves if only I had a man that loved me like this, or cared for me like that— I would be complete. I’m here to tell you that life does not work that way. You were created whole, all by yourself. At the very least, you are looking for someone to complement you. When I say complement I mean that  you are seeking out (if you’re looking) an individual who in some way, shape, form, or fashion adds value to your  existent qualities. I always have the mindset that I’m not looking, because whoever my Mister is, he will find me... eventually. Proverbs 18:22, read your Bible people!!! lol. I’m okay with being alone. I’m more than willing to spend the time necessary to become the best polished version of myself, before he comes along and sweeps me off of my feet. The other day I posted a meme “What’s a Queen without her King?.... A Queen.” on Girl, Wake Up!’s Instagram. (If you are not following, head on over and do so now! @_girlwakeup_)  I immediately received texts and kudos regarding the post. BTW, those aren’t my words. Although, I’m happy someone wrote them. I feel like those words haven’t been said or “preached” enough to women. Understand that without a man you are still you. He doesn’t make, or break you. He doesn’t complete you. Often, I know we feel as though we have contributed so much of ourselves into a relationship that the other person completes us. Let us not get so lost in someone else, that we lose ourselves.

Alone, does not alway mean lonely

Have I always been this strong? Nope. I remember a time in college I dated a guy. I really liked him, and we did not date that long. The only thing we did well was argue with one another. I liked what he brought to the table physically; he was attractive. He was mentally stimulating; he could hold a conversation, and he was a great friend. We would argue about everything under the sun. It was awful. One night during an argument he bust the window out of my car. That’s right, we were arguing so tough. He hit the window, and his fist went right through it.  Long story short— shortly after that incident we broke up. I wouldn’t leave him alone though. I would blow his phone up. I would pop up at parties I knew he would be at. I would pop up in his dorm. I was everywhere I thought he might be, because I wasn’t ready to let go. I thought I needed him for whatever reason. This went on for two months. Finally, I had to step back. I had to put some things into perspective. Girl, Wake Up!

I came to the conclusion that I could not make him want me. I had to learn how to be by myself. I took some time to learn myself. I asked myself these questions:

What did I like?

What is it that I did not like?

What was I looking for?

What were my deal breakers?

In the process of me getting to know myself I realized that I was a finished product, and never again would I try to convince a man to be with me. Since then I have come into contact with some women who search from pillar to post for a man to “complete” them. Most times I sit back and watch. I cannot help those that do not want to help themselves. I would probably be known as the single friend that’s just hating. Today is a new day it is 2018, and I want my sisters, friends, and queens to stay woke. Below are my Top 3 Reasons Why You Should Not Look for Someone to Complete You.

Top 3 Reasons Why You Shouldn't Look for Someone to Complete You

  1. You are complete. Something may be missing from you, and it is your responsibility to fill those empty spaces before you allow someone else to enter your life.
  2. Love over loneliness. Be with someone because you love them, not because you are lonely.
  3. You should take the time to be selfish. Get to know yourself. Be too busy working on you, so that when your significant other arrives you know exactly who you are. Live your best life alone, and enjoy it!



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